Aaaaand we have a winner! Finally!!

Well, I opened it up to my Facebook peeps to help me think of a new challenge for November.  For a while there I was beginning to wonder if that was such a good idea!  I was getting the craziest stuff!!  Especially from that complete lunatic, Aunt Shirley.  We all have one of those, right?  (I bet mine's crazier!)

But seriously, I loved reading all your ideas and felt so loved and supported.  Except maybe from my sister who suggested I jump from a Utah cliff with a parachute packed by my brother.  Certain death was not a challenge I was interested in but it seemed to amuse her so, bless her heart. :)

The winning idea came from my cousin, Judeena.  Whom I haven't seen since she was knee-high to a grasshopper and yet we are obviously still connected by the eternal bonds of similar family dislikes.  She suggested I shouldn't be allowed to use my dishwasher for a month.  I think I began to tear up as soon as I read those words.  Someone out there knows me so well.  Not just the surface me but the deep down, darkest part of my soul.  I was free!  (I don't know what that means.)

When I mentioned this idea to my husband.  He gave me an evil grin and said, "That's the one." or something like that.  Then he proceeded to tell me that he would make sure I hand washed every dish, myself, every day.  This is key because I often let it go a couple days and then he jumps in and does them out of exasperation.  Hey, I'm not too proud to admit this is not my forte.  Mostly because I dislike it so much.

So there you have it.  November's challenge.  10 lbs. or no dishwasher or helpers for all of December.  Yep, that should do it!

...all good things!

How I lost 15 lbs in October!!

Several years ago I started a diet and exercise program and lost a total of 55 lbs.  I was down to my pre-wedding weight and I was excited!  Unfortunately due to several factors I gained that weight back within a year.  The one thing that I always wished I had done at the time was record the process of how I did it.  The ups, the downs, the inconsistency, the frustration, the landmarks, the wins, etc.


Back then people asked me all the time how I had lost the weight, but when they heard that I counted my calories and ran a 5k (very slowly) every morning they seemed disappointed and lost interest.  I get it.  They wanted "the secret", or at least a more exciting version of what they already knew.  What they didn't know was they were asking the wrong question.  I know because I had succeeded before but for years I couldn't seem to replicate the outcome.  I knew what I had physically done but what I really wanted to know was why did it work?  More importantly, why wasn't it working for me now?



Don't get me wrong, I didn't resume counting calories and running a 5k every morning and not get any results.  My problem was convincing myself to go through it again.  All I could think about was everything I had to give up.  Treats, junk food, snacks every 5 minutes (ok not literally).  The fact of the matter was I didn't often eat treats or fast food or drink soda.  It was a mental block.  I couldn't give up the freedom to do so if I ever wanted to.  But the constant grazing in search of... I don't know what... was the real problem and I didn't want that blunted.


I continued to run, however, and even entered a few half marathons but my weight never dropped more than about 20-25 lbs., which I would quickly regain in the winter when I refused to run in the cold.  Some might think that was a significant accomplishment and that it should have motivated me to continue.  Probably; but the truth was that I found I have to lose a minimum of 30 lbs. before even my closest friends noticed a change.  Not because there wasn't one but it's such a slow process that you have look totally different for people to finally go, "Wow!  You've lost weight!"


One problem was that I never really tracked my weight loss at that time because I refused to diet and didn't even realize I had lost so much until I looked back over my MyFitnessPal entries when I kept entering my "starting weight".   In any case, I clearly had an issue with my diet but I couldn't let go of the control, or actually the perceived freedom from being out of control.


So I suppose what you really want to know is the answer to the post title that got you to open my blog in the first place.  How I lost 15 lbs. in October.  Well, hold your horses!  I've got to give you a little background on the philosophy first or you'll just go, "Oh, well that's kinda weird.  Don't think I'll be doing that!" and you'll stop reading before I can explain why it worked.  You see this is the whole point.  Everyone knows that diet and/or exercise in some form or another is the only way to lose weight without risky pills or surgery.  But instead of asking why will this work for me?  People often ask what do I have to do then they assess if they are willing to do it. 


I've been around a few years and there is something I've noticed about diet and exercise.  There are hundreds of ways to do both …and they all work to some degree.  Some are healthier than others some are more rigid and extreme and some are flexible and easily manageable.  The common element of why they each work is not because of the science but because of the human element.  But the human has to have a why.  This is not breakthrough stuff.  People say this all the time.  "You have to find your why."  May I propose a twist that just may blow your mind and change your life?  It changed mine.


I spent the last few years trying to find my "why".  Something so compelling that I just had to lose weight to achieve it or be lost forever in my misery.  I had several ideas that were exciting and fun and each gave me a sense that it would give my life meaning and purpose.  I had the desire but what I didn't have was a reason to start.  You see, I was already at the bottom.  I was used to being at the bottom.  The bottom was familiar and comfortable.  Going up would just be bonus.  But bonus isn't free.  Bonus is hard work and takes maintenance at a higher level than your current level.  So even your "down time" is harder. 



So I thought "I need an incentive", and I did.  So I began to think of rewards I could give myself along the way.  If I lose 10 lbs., I'll go get my nails done.  But that just never really worked.  I found that if I didn't lose the 10 lbs. I could live just fine without the pretty nails in my life, just fine.  I didn't just need a why.  I needed a WHY I MUST DO IT NOW?


I did a search online and found a popular trend which I didn't do, but sparked my idea.  (So yes, I'm finally getting close to the part where I tell you what I did.)  The trend was online weight loss betting.  A few people would get matched up, put money in a pool and enter their weight loss goal.  If at the end of the allotted time you met your goal you got your money back and split the money left over by those who did not meet their goal with the others who did.  So, for example, 6 people put in $25 and only 5 people met their goal.  The 5 who met their goal get their $25 back plus they split the "loser's" $25 receiving and extra $5 each. 


I had a couple problems with this idea so I had to change it a bit.  My first problem is that I just don't believe in betting of any sort, just on principle.  Also, because I am a stay at home mom this wouldn't be terribly compelling for me because I don't do the actual work that brings the actual cash home.  This would be, in my opinion, an ungrateful way of exploiting my husband's hard work.  Finally, I just can't stomach the idea of taking what I consider sacred family funds and frivolously risk losing it for my own selfish pride.  No there must be a better way.


Although I didn't want to "bet" so someone else loses if I win.  I did like the idea of a consequence.  A horrible, unimaginable, unavoidable consequence.  So I gave myself one and I told people about it so I couldn't back out.  If I didn't lose 15 lbs. in October, my Halloween costume must consist of spandex!  YIKES!!  My husband added to the idea and said I had to dress up as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man if I didn't meet my goal.  WHITE Spandex!!  HORROR!!  Well, there was NO WAY I was going to let that happen!  So after 2 very personal family crisis bombshells, 2 illnesses, a week and a half plateau and the stress of my husband having an MRI, a tumor scare and minor surgery, I lost 15 lbs. on Oct. 30th! 


Now don't tune out just yet!  There are some very interesting things I learned during this process.  The first was what we already discussed.  "Why Now?"  I needed something so compelling that I HAD to do it NOW.  Oct. 31st was coming ready or not.  I didn't have the luxury of waiting until Monday morning, or when things were calmed down at home or when I was feeling better.  People knew and I wasn't going back on my word.


I learned that the main reason this idea worked for me was because it was highly visual.  Every time I wanted to cheat, quit or even rest (although I did skip a couple days when I got sick) I pictured my body stuffed into white spandex sitting at my daughter's school costume parade.  What made it worse was that I live a block from her school and our church so, literally, a very tight knit community.  No pretending nobody knows me.  I would never have been able to leave my house again!  So in a nutshell, I found that I could search for and perfect my 'why' for a life time.  Creating a 'why it must be now' was quick, compelling and effective.


Something else I learned is that I don't have to wait for the stars to align and for conditions to be perfect for me to lose weight.  The night before my weigh in I got a double whammy of heartbreaking news.  I was devastated.  A couple days later they found a mass on my husband's liver they were concerned might be cancerous.  It wasn't and he's fine, but watching him struggle with his own mortality was gut wrenching and stressful.  I became ill twice and finally at the end of the month I played single parent while my husband recovered from surgery.


Finally I learned that weight loss is not a straight line and that I should learn to expect the bumps in the road.  I was weighing myself far too often (daily, and sometimes more often) and the ups and downs about put me in an early grave.  The first week of weight loss was about 7 lbs. which I expected because the first week is always a big loss for me.  I also expected a serious dip the second week but what I didn't expect was a full week and a half of absolutely no progress.  I was freaking out!  I finally lost a pound or two only to follow up the next day with a gain.  If I hadn't been tracking the overall number I would have been convinced that I lost absolutely no weight for all the fluctuations.  I was shocked when I looked back and realized that I had indeed lost an additional 8 lbs. in the last couple weeks.  I think it was about 3 lbs. just in the last 5 days.  Yeah, that was scary close! 


I'm glad that I watched and recorded my experience this month because it would have been all too easy to look back and say "Hey that was a total success!  I averaged a little over 3 lbs. a week!"  The reality was I was often afraid I was going to fail, cried when the scale didn't budge and told my husband that I thought God had abandoned me years ago.  I was an emotional mess.  The funny thing is, though, that my goal gave me clarity and purpose during a very difficult month and actually helped me get through it a little easier than if I had just eaten my way through my emotions.  Turns out I actually feel grateful for the timing of it all.


I've already begun my November challenge today and am committed to losing 10 lbs. this month.  I won't have the cushion of a big first week so this will definitely still be a challenge.  In October I met my goal on the 30^th leaving me free to enjoy some worry-free treats on Halloween.  This month I would like to meet my goal before Thanksgiving so I don’t have to have the stress of dieting that day.  Been there, done that.  Lots of tears, not pretty.  So if you have any ideas about what I could use as my “Why Now” this month let me know!  Matt said a dip in the freezing cold lake.  Then he decided he didn’t want to risk me getting hypothermia and dying.  I’m wondering why he assumes I’m gonna fail!!

All good things...